I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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