yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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