i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
