Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
