went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
