Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I had to cum in my sink.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
