i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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