i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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