Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
