I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
