In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
