why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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