how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
