how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
