Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
