told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize