apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just pee around me
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
