Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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