I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
