I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
