Sponge bath it is.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
