I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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