We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
