Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
