You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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