I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish my penis had a tongue
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
