yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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