haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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