Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
