1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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