Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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