The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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