I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My feet surprised me
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