Dual....:-)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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