what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
