I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
