is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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