I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize