You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
