I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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