Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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