i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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