so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
