:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
