she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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