All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
