she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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