last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
