finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
