So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
