i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
