I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize