so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
