I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
