i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think your dad took our porno
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
