My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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