Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
