Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
