yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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