What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
