i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
