he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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