i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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