We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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