just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
