I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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